funcommand.com

1. The Female always makes The Rules.

2. The Rules are subject to change at any time without prior notification.

3. No Male can possibly know all The Rules.

4. If the Female suspects the Male knows all The Rules, she must
immediately change some or all of The Rules.

5. The Female is never wrong.

6. If the FEMALE is wrong, it is due to a misunderstanding which was a
direct result of something the MALE did or said wrong.

7. (If Rule 6 applies, the Male must apologize immediately for causing the
misunderstanding.)

8. The Female can change her mind at any given point in time.

9. The Male must never change his mind without express written consent
from the Female.

10. The Female has every right to be angry or upset at any time.

11. The Male must remain calm at all times, unless the Female Wants him
to be angry or upset.

12. The Female must under no circumstances let the Male know whether
or not she wants him to be angry or upset.

13. The Male is expected to mind read at all times.

14. The Male who doesn’t abide by The Rules, can’t take the heat, lacks a
backbone, and is a wimp.

15. Any attempt to document The Rules could result in bodily harm.

16. At no time can the Male make such comments as “Insignificant” and
“Is that all?” when the Female is complaining.

17. If the Female has PMS, all The Rules are null and void!

A young private sought permission from his
Commanding Officer to leave camp the following
weekend. “You see,” he explained, “my wife’s expecting.”

“Oh…” said the Officer, “I understand. Go ahead and
tell your wife that I wish her luck.”

The following week the same soldier was back again
with the same explanation: “My wife’s expecting.”

The Officer looked surprised. “Still expecting?” he said,
“Well, well, my boy, you must be pretty bothered.
Of course you can have the week-end off.”

When the same soldier appeared again the third week,
however, the Officer lost his temper. “Don’t tell me your
wife is still expecting!” he bellowed.

“Yes Sir!” said the soldier resolutely, “She’s still expecting.”

“What in heaven is she expecting?” cried the Officer.

“Me.” said the soldier simply.